a better war idea
posted by Dick Septic on September 21, 2001
this showed up in my mailbox today. it was written by a friend of a friend. i wanted to share the joy.
___
One of the best suggestions for retaliation I've heard yet:
"ok, screw the butter bomb thing -- let's send chomsky, moore, and
sontag to afghanistan. moore can do the embittered, self-righteous
documentarian thing ("why won't the taliban talk to meeee? whyyyy?")
to create a diversion while the other two don rebel garb and head for
the hills to infiltrate al qaeda (thereby giving sontag an additional
secret thrill as she subverts the woman-hating islamic hegemony).
when they finally come face-to-face with bin laden, they'll corner
him and unleash their most powerful weapons: chomsky will give a
detailed accounting of how US foreign policy has steadily eroded
since the taft administration, and sontag will describe how the
hijacked planes and collapsed towers are really a metaphor for the
subjugation of women in a classist, capitalist society. bin laden,
faced with the prospect of being stuck in the most boring
conversation ever, will have no choice but to turn himself in.